Her enjoyment brought up mixed emotions.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

I was trying to catch some Z’s when I heard it. Not a subtle scuffle of the sheets or a quiet rattle of a headboard. Explicit, loud moans of a woman having sex right by my ear.

I pressed my ear to the wall. I didn’t want to hear it but, at the same time, couldn’t stop listening. It was the first time I heard other people having sex in real life. Sure, I had heard the performative soundtracks of the porn industry and the boisterous “orgasms” of Hollywood actors. …


The lack of imagination in mainstream porn didn’t turn me on. I needed more.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a total wuss when it comes to pornography. While I’m all for everything pro-sex, I can’t get myself to enjoy the explicit imagery of the mainstream sex industry. Different strokes for different folks —and I prefer not seeing the strokes.

As someone who writes about sex, my lack of excitement for different kinds of X-rated content is almost embarrassing. Hollywood movie scenes that only imply that sex is happening (or about to happen) are a lot more arousing to me than a full-blown porno flick. It’s difficult for me to find that…


Why the rise of aural porn could change the way we think about sex. And why you should try it.

Yuri Manei on Pexels

Audio porn is booming in quarantine. The new rise in audio porn could be a sign of escapism, self-care, or both. From audio clips from real-life sex to guided masturbation, erotic stories and ASMR, audio porn has no singular definition — as long as it’s focused on sound only.

The storytelling of written erotica and audio porn are what bring people to them, especially in times like these. Stories detach us from reality and nurture our fantasies and imagination. The possibility to connect is much stronger in the form of a story. Daydreaming appears to be an essential tool for…


Tim Ferriss is a great example of why we should take advice from white, middle-aged men with a grain of salt and intersectionality

Philips Wei on Pexels

In America, we love the narrative of anyone being able to make their dreams true. We glorify individual leaders and CEOs like Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos, and the media keeps feeding us their morning routines and hustle mindsets. We’re told that being a “self-made man” is the goal, and self-help literature often feeds into these ideas.

Tim Ferriss is an inspirational speaker and author, whose book The 4-Hour Workweek has inspired millions of people all around the globe. Tim Ferriss encourages people to liberate themselves from the 9 to 5 to live anywhere and join the “New Rich”. I…


After years of a low-key scrolling addiction and lost attention span, I reclaimed the identity and habits of a reader.

Photo by Ichad Windhiagiri from Pexels

“I wish I had more time to read.”

Do you ever find yourself saying this to yourself? Many of us would like to identify as a “reader” again. We would like for it to feel easy to grab a book instead of reaching for our phone. It just seems like so much more effort than turning on a show or scrolling through Twitter.

I always thought that there was no way I could reclaim my reading habits and a reader’s mindset, but the solutions were surprisingly easy. Sure, I had some resistance in the beginning, but now I’ve created low-maintenance…


Bring main character energy into your love life through rituals.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

There has been a lot of talk online about being the “main character” of your life. Whether used ironically or authentically, the phrase has gained popularity in the self-help arena. People are starting to romanticize everyday instances. I‘ll explain why and how you should expand this mindset into your love life, and romanticize your relationship through rituals. The idea of romanticizing your life can be boiled down to connection, taking action, and changing your mindset. Think about the main character of a movie or a book: the aesthetic, the music, their quirks, and traits... …


The pandemic made me realize that I’m an extrovert.

Photo by Вячеслав Шах_Гусейнов from Pexels

A couple of months into lockdown, my mental health started deteriorating. I found myself more anxious and burnt out than in years, despite my newly empty calendar.

Everything felt unmanageable. From dishes to small daily walks, my basic life skills and energy were nowhere to be found. I was paralyzed even though I had more time for myself than ever.

“I’m an introvert”, I thought to myself. “So why am I finding this so difficult?”

After being deprived of natural, recurring, and often even pointless encounters with other people for months, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not an…


Take agency of your jealous doomscrolling, and find out what your next step should be.

Wiktor Cardoso on Pexels

We’ve all been there, doomscrolling Instagram and boiling with envy. Seeing old friends, celebrities, and ex-partners living it up in their careers, family dynamics, and relationships. But have you ever stopped to think, that you could use that emotion to figure out your own path?

Jealousy might be the most useful emotion you’ll have to confront when planning for your future. While it can feel excruciating to see friends, loved ones, or strangers succeeding, it’s important to learn to harness jealousy to create prospective prosperity. …


How you can escape the cycle of constant bickering, nagging, and fighting.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

When my current relationship started, I realized that I had never learned how to fight. Sure, I was the queen of bickering, micromanaging, and nagging, but I didn’t have the tools to resolve a conflict.

Because arguments are inevitable (and sometimes necessary), it’s important to learn how to fight in a constructive and nurturing way. We’re hardwired to connect — it’s what gives us purpose. But we can’t connect if we’re not letting our guard down. Learning to connect in a moment of conflict is the key to healthy arguing.

Whether your way of dealing with conflicts is moving away…


Try the Obstacle Text and other techniques to create tension via text.

Photo by Teddy from Pexels

Sexting can bring so much sultry into your relationship — whether casual, long-distance, or long-term.

Many of us are dipping our toes into being long-distance because of the pandemic. In a long-distance situation, the phone becomes your most important tool. No matter your love language, you have to translate your love into the digital to reach your partner.

On the other hand, if you’re in the same location, sexting can be even more radical. If you’re in a long-term relationship and your text history is mostly schedules and grocery lists, a sexy text in the middle of the day can…

Lillian Grover

Writing about society, sexuality, and gender. Add to my order some intersectionality, women’s health, and feminism, and we're good to go.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store